I am recently going through various emotions especially feeling anxious and worried about my current life projects. It has been impacting my positivity energy, so I tried to support and nourish myself to get rid of that uncomfortable feelings. Along the way, I’ve noticed an interesting change in myself.
The first thing I’ve experienced was that realizing how hard it is to balance between being a dreamer who is creative and expansive, and a doer who is focused and realistic. It would be a very sad thing if one doesn’t dream, explore and feel free. At the same time, our chores, responsibilities, finances and various reality complications of life are also important parts of life which we can’t ignore. I felt discouraged and desperate. What should I do to make myself to feel better? To feel confident, positive, productive and so on.
I got curious and looked in deeper. After all, my confidence, positivity, humour, pro-activeness also had their space along with my anxiety and worries. The negative emotions have such a dominant power and I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I guess I was expecting a bit easier process and hoping things will work out smoothly. Who wouldn’t? 🙂
I do believe its possible to be both a dreamer and doer. My negative emotions are still there, but it seems the nuance has changed since I started to look at them as my signals. Just like pain, they have their purpose of existence. Safety & Protection. Sometimes the signals get triggered by my past, hurt, patterns and habits. I also used to cope, suppress and deny emotions and I still do sometimes.
Now, my goal is to be aware of the purpose of negative signals and embrace it. I want to allow my dreamer-self nourishes the emotions with compassion &love and my doer-self steps up with strategies & actions, along with supports from my trustworthy friends.
My mantra of the day… I AM ENOUGH.
Director, Integrative Therapist (R.Ac, CYT, RMT, CLT, ESTI, Hakomi Psychotherapist)
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